unexpected boons and busts

For those of you who've been checking my blog, my apologies for not posting sooner... I suppose it's okay as, who am I kidding? It's not as though anyone IS actually checking my blog... anyway, the reason I've been remiss of late is, my sense of humor was apparently either a) living in the lymph nodes they removed; b) has been radiated out of me; c) my pithy posts were a fluke and I never was amusing to begin with. I'm going with option "a". I haven't been feeling especially funny or creative since surgery.
I had a total breakdown about 3 weeks after surgery. The severity of it all hit me… apparently I’m too stupid and/or too slow and dim witted to have realized earlier that cancer is bad and potentially serious. I know, right? “It’s just little cancer… no biggie!” I kept telling myself and everyone else. Glib and nonchalant, that was me. Anyway, after I recovered from my little (or not so little if you ask my husband) breakdown, I told Steve I was going to phone my surgeon and ask if she could see if my lymph nodes are still floating around somewhere at the lab in a test tube. It’s just not like me to lose it like that and to NOT view everything as potential for fun and hilarity. So, I surmised that along with cancer and a half a dozen lymph nodes, Kaiser removed my sense of humor and I want it back!
Truly, though, the whole cancer thing turned out fine, no cancer found in any of the lymph nodes (I’m guessing there wasn’t room, what with my humor cells taking up most of the space), surgery went great, radiation is going fine… A cool and unexpected thing is that my radiation oncologist told me NOT to try and quit smoking right now because of this “stressful time.” HA! I’ve experienced more stress at the DMV than with any of my numerous doctor visits, including surgery AND radiation.
So far I’ve had 10 radiation sessions and only 15 to go. All I do is go there at 8:15 every morning, Monday through Friday, strip from the waist up, stuff my bra and whatever top I happen to be wearing in my purse which is too small to hold both items, put on a hospital gown and wait for one of the radiation techs to call me. Once they do, I go lay on a table with my arms over my head, the tech(s) position the machine over me and leave the room. I’m assuming I’m actually receiving doses of radiation because the machine makes noise. I don’t feel anything but am confident something dangerous is happening or else why would they be so quick to leave? Monday I had a radiology student who was there to observe and help my regular tech. He introduced himself and asked if I’d feel uncomfortable having him there. I laughed and assured him that as 40% of the medical population of Northern California has already seen my breasts, I had no problem with one more.
Fridays are “Weigh In” days. As of this past Friday I’ve lost 3 pounds since I’ve started. I’m not supposed to lose more than 5 lbs. during radiation as they’ll have to re-do all the measurements, etc. so I’ve been admonished and warned NOT to lose any more weight. Okay, medical personnel have told me not to quit smoking and not to lose weight… yeah, this radiation stuff is okay… I suppose my glib and nonchalant attitude was warranted after all.