PART IV
Monday, 8/28/10
Good night’s sleep, even Steve… we didn’t get out of bed until 7:00 am, an almost unheard of, decadent time to awaken… Our room is beginning to grow on Steve as the shower is awesome… I think it has something to do with the decorative tiles but he claims it’s more of a water flow thing… whatev. Pig ‘n’ Pancake is a local restaurant that serves breakfast and lunch only and it is a tradition that we go there for breakfast when in Cannon Beach… we tuck Sarah in her carrier in the car and walk in… I order the veggie skillet and Steve opts for the Western Omelet… in Oregon there is no meat in a Western Omelet… they’re so enlightened up north! Off to Ecola State Park where you’ll be able to visit our ashes once we die, in case you’re into that kind of thing… it’s a most beautiful park with sweeping vistas (yes, I just said “sweeping vistas”) of the ocean… it’s gorgeous, absolutely… I’m admittedly not very well traveled but it’s hecka pretty, really… the fee to get in is $5.00 and it’s an honor system thing as there is no attendant on duty… they take credit cards now… ‘seems kind of out-of-place, this modern convenience in a place that looks almost prehistoric… huge trees (even bigger than that lamp in our room), ferns as big as the lamp shade of that lamp in our room, and as we are all about tradition, I always look out the window during the drive into the heart of the park and say, “Sasquatch!” ‘Cuz if there’s anywhere in the lower 48 states your likely to spy the elusive critter, it surely would be here… the woods are sooooooo dense… it’s really a lovely drive, made all the more beautiful by the trees, dappled sunlight, (how often does one get to use “sweeping vistas” AND “dappled sunlight” in a day? Not very damn often, but I digress), and no music! Blessed, blessed silence, broken only by my occasional Sasquatch (!) sightings… Steve takes his obligatory one million pictures as the one million he has at home apparently are not enough but I keep this to myself as even though I have enough shoes to last three lifetimes, I know at some point in the future, I’ll want more.
Later that day: We went back to town to lie on the beach. Steve decides a beach umbrella is just the ticket for he (who I’ve long suspected is part vampire) and Sarah… the Oregon coast is having spectacular weather: Sunny and Warm (note the capital letters)… so a beach umbrella does sound like a good idea – you’d think so but cruel fate had something else in store for my white, white husband… We took a walk to Mariners Market, the local grocery/sundries/caramel (or is it carmel?) store where he purchased a really cute one with these 3 matching bags you’re supposed to fill with sand to keep it from blowing away… first we settle ourselves on the private deck of the hotel, reserved exclusively for guests only or anyone clever enough to reach around and open the gate… it’s very nice with REAL Adirondack chairs and tables (but sadly, no ashtrays)… of course the umbrella is not cooperating as there is no sand on the deck with which to fill those three bags… no problem! Let’s go on the beach (where I can smoke) and put those cool bags to use! Blanket laid, we settle down for a nice, relaxing afternoon… Fast forward to 3 seconds later and “Whooosh!” Our fancy new umbrella is tumbling down the sand towards Haystack Rock, a mere mile or so down the beach… Steve goes running after it, retrieves it, all the while using those colorful expressions you might hear when watching a rerun of The Sopranos and plants it all the more firmly in the sand… Fast forward five seconds and “Whooosh!” it takes another tumble… Steve catches it before it gets too far, and starts to close it up, peppering the sea air with language that would make any sailor proud… “Here, let me try,” I suggest, knowing full well of my superiority at these things which require patience and woman’s touch… Lovingly, with great care and precision, I refill the bags, meticulously placing them just so, precisely anchoring the umbrella itself, confident it would hold… You know where this is going, right? Fast forward to seven seconds later when the whole damn thing turned inside out and ripped in three places…. More swear words from Steve, (I think I actually saw a few seamen blush) as he scoops up Sarah and announces he’s going back to the room… I stayed on the beach, sans shade, smoked cigarettes and took a nap… the umbrella is now in a landfill in Oregon I’m sure, but we still have the 3 bags… I know there’s no earthly reason to keep them, but somehow just the sight of them makes me giggle.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Steve and Bon and Sarah's Most Excellent Adventure... the saga continues
PART III
8/23/10
Sometime in the afternoon:
So Jill apparently has an occasional problem with right and left but Cannon Beach is like, this big, so the hotel wasn’t that difficult to locate… we find out that “ocean view” is NOT the same as “ocean front.” Mr. Flowers is not happy… we walk in the room to which I exclaim, “I love it!” Steve’s response: “I hate it!” It’s a great room really: very nice bathroom with decorative sea glass type tiles, nice sized refrigerator, microwave, fireplace, closets, sofa, table & chairs, bed of course, and the BIGGEST lamp I have ever seen in my life: the thing stands like 9 feet tall and has a shade the size of Orson Wells… what’s truly hilarious about it though, is it has like a 3-watt bulb… my glow-in-the-dark rosary emits more light… I try to lighten the mood by pointing out the classy tile in the bathroom, the fact that we can see the ocean, (“f**king street!”) and of course the giant lamp… he’s having none of it… A foul mood that won’t even be softened by the gargantuan floor lamp: Clearly, I have my work cut out for me… “You need a walk on the beach, Mr. F… get some negative ions to chase away your grumpiness…” So, off we go… we walked up to Haystack Rock and met all kinds of other puppies, all whom were better behaved than Sarah, but none cuter… she’s developed this interesting way of walking: zigzagging in front, in back, port and starboard… it’s like she’s avoiding guerrilla gunfire from a helicopter… we see many starfish (or do you call them “sea stars”?), anemone, and all types of birds… I casually mention to Steve that, “Haystack Rock is like a regular bird sanctuary!” He looks at me nonplussed and says, “It IS a bird sanctuary…” Oh! Duh! That (seemingly) innocent, albeit dim statement lifted Mr. Flowers’ mood… nothing like a silly, yet attractive wife to put a smile on my man’s face… back to our ocean view (not ocean FRONT) room for a healthy dinner of corn chips and salsa… Early to bed… we’re spent!
8/23/10
Sometime in the afternoon:
So Jill apparently has an occasional problem with right and left but Cannon Beach is like, this big, so the hotel wasn’t that difficult to locate… we find out that “ocean view” is NOT the same as “ocean front.” Mr. Flowers is not happy… we walk in the room to which I exclaim, “I love it!” Steve’s response: “I hate it!” It’s a great room really: very nice bathroom with decorative sea glass type tiles, nice sized refrigerator, microwave, fireplace, closets, sofa, table & chairs, bed of course, and the BIGGEST lamp I have ever seen in my life: the thing stands like 9 feet tall and has a shade the size of Orson Wells… what’s truly hilarious about it though, is it has like a 3-watt bulb… my glow-in-the-dark rosary emits more light… I try to lighten the mood by pointing out the classy tile in the bathroom, the fact that we can see the ocean, (“f**king street!”) and of course the giant lamp… he’s having none of it… A foul mood that won’t even be softened by the gargantuan floor lamp: Clearly, I have my work cut out for me… “You need a walk on the beach, Mr. F… get some negative ions to chase away your grumpiness…” So, off we go… we walked up to Haystack Rock and met all kinds of other puppies, all whom were better behaved than Sarah, but none cuter… she’s developed this interesting way of walking: zigzagging in front, in back, port and starboard… it’s like she’s avoiding guerrilla gunfire from a helicopter… we see many starfish (or do you call them “sea stars”?), anemone, and all types of birds… I casually mention to Steve that, “Haystack Rock is like a regular bird sanctuary!” He looks at me nonplussed and says, “It IS a bird sanctuary…” Oh! Duh! That (seemingly) innocent, albeit dim statement lifted Mr. Flowers’ mood… nothing like a silly, yet attractive wife to put a smile on my man’s face… back to our ocean view (not ocean FRONT) room for a healthy dinner of corn chips and salsa… Early to bed… we’re spent!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Steve and Bon and Sarah's Most Excellent Adventure, Part II
8/23/10, Sunday
8:53 am: Sarah & I slept well, Steve not so much… Leisurely morning, shower then continental breakfast provided by the hotel… now we need an Oregon map. Steve PROMISES to stop at the first gas station to get me one…
9:00 am: Cannon Beach here we come!
9:38 am: Okay, we’ve passed like a hundred gas stations and we still haven’t stopped – Ha-rumph! I had to pee so we stopped at a Chevron station… back on the highway and that’s when we remembered the map… Gawd, we’re too stupid to be adults… Stopped again like 2 minutes later for both Oregon and Washington maps… okay, NOW I can relax… ate Cracker Jack while listening to Emerson Lake and Palmer which prompted me to call my brother Michael… the listening to ELP prompted me to call Mike, the eating Cracker Jack just pissed me off as they give you like 3 peanuts and the prizes suck! My brother & I had an in-depth discussion about the demoralization of Cracker Jack. We stopped at a rest stop and twelve ounces of Cracker Jack crumbs fell off my boobs, my face, my hair, and shorts… I opened the bottom of my shirt and more pieces fell out… thank God! I thought perhaps those irregularly fashioned lumps were my cancer coming back in the form of popcorn shaped tumors…
Back on the road listening to Epica… it’s a band Steve likes, me not so much… it’s too bad I don’t still drink, we could make a drinking game where you gotta do a shot every time the guy in the bad growls… despite the continental breakfast and Cracker Jack, I’m getting hungry… DRINK! Only 24 miles to Salem… DRINK! It’s hecka cloudy here, I commented. Steve says no, it’s (DRINK) always cloudy… Jumping out this car window to escape this (DRINK) “music” doesn’t sound like too bad of an option (DRINK) about now… The next song requires either a bigger shot glass or an IV liquor drip… F**K you, Galante was Steve’s comment when I read him (giggling) this portion of my journal… DRINK!
Weird, I paid only $2.00 for the CA map, even though it’s marked $4.95… I just played a bunch of games of Solitaire on my iPod to help tune out the growling…
1:37 pm: on 26 headed toward the Coast… Time for Red Vines! Reading all the signs along the road: Fresh Fruit Next Right, Cherries, Homemade Jams, Blueberries, Elk Jelly… Elk Jelly? “I think that’s Elk Jerky” comments my husband… Oh, yeah, I was wondering how they’d even make Elk Jelly… Too many Red Vines. Yuk! Dying for a smokey treat… you can’t smoke in Magda, per the rental agreement… there’s stickers over the whole care warning a $250.00 cleaning fee may be levied if they find evidence of cigarette smoke… wonder what the cleaning fee is for an overindulgence of Cracker Jack? Sorta have to pee… we’ll be stopping at Camp 18 for a late lunch… I need a green salad chaser for all that red licorice.
Camp 18 is this old logging camp that they’ve turned into a very cool restaurant… yummy green salad… my innards are thanking me for the authentic fuel… the year we got married, Steve hid a quarter in the men’s room and every time we come here he checks… yep! 10 years later and it’s still there… I went to their gift shop, which BTW is darling, and bought Steve a t-shirt and 2 caramels… is there a difference between “carmel” and “caramel”? This is a question that has plagued me for some time now (in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not that deep of a thinker) … the woman who works there complimented me on my earrings, some silly little white beaded numbers… seems she makes jewelry to supplement her income, as she raised 10 kids (yikes!) and didn’t build up a huge Social Security fund nor is there a big 401K program for being a mom… her name is Susan, originally from Southern Cali and has lived in Oregon for 30 years and loves it… I gave her one of the earrings so she could have a “live specimen” to work from instead of the picture I originally suggested she take with her phone… I told her my wish was that she becomes to jewelry what Debbie Fields is to cookies… I also (secretly) wish that I will be telling some traveler that I was from California but have lived in Oregon for 30 years… but wait a minute, even if we move next year, I’d be freaking 80 years old. Shit! I don’t want to be an octogenarian hawking souvenirs… Next stop: Cannon Beach!
8:53 am: Sarah & I slept well, Steve not so much… Leisurely morning, shower then continental breakfast provided by the hotel… now we need an Oregon map. Steve PROMISES to stop at the first gas station to get me one…
9:00 am: Cannon Beach here we come!
9:38 am: Okay, we’ve passed like a hundred gas stations and we still haven’t stopped – Ha-rumph! I had to pee so we stopped at a Chevron station… back on the highway and that’s when we remembered the map… Gawd, we’re too stupid to be adults… Stopped again like 2 minutes later for both Oregon and Washington maps… okay, NOW I can relax… ate Cracker Jack while listening to Emerson Lake and Palmer which prompted me to call my brother Michael… the listening to ELP prompted me to call Mike, the eating Cracker Jack just pissed me off as they give you like 3 peanuts and the prizes suck! My brother & I had an in-depth discussion about the demoralization of Cracker Jack. We stopped at a rest stop and twelve ounces of Cracker Jack crumbs fell off my boobs, my face, my hair, and shorts… I opened the bottom of my shirt and more pieces fell out… thank God! I thought perhaps those irregularly fashioned lumps were my cancer coming back in the form of popcorn shaped tumors…
Back on the road listening to Epica… it’s a band Steve likes, me not so much… it’s too bad I don’t still drink, we could make a drinking game where you gotta do a shot every time the guy in the bad growls… despite the continental breakfast and Cracker Jack, I’m getting hungry… DRINK! Only 24 miles to Salem… DRINK! It’s hecka cloudy here, I commented. Steve says no, it’s (DRINK) always cloudy… Jumping out this car window to escape this (DRINK) “music” doesn’t sound like too bad of an option (DRINK) about now… The next song requires either a bigger shot glass or an IV liquor drip… F**K you, Galante was Steve’s comment when I read him (giggling) this portion of my journal… DRINK!
Weird, I paid only $2.00 for the CA map, even though it’s marked $4.95… I just played a bunch of games of Solitaire on my iPod to help tune out the growling…
1:37 pm: on 26 headed toward the Coast… Time for Red Vines! Reading all the signs along the road: Fresh Fruit Next Right, Cherries, Homemade Jams, Blueberries, Elk Jelly… Elk Jelly? “I think that’s Elk Jerky” comments my husband… Oh, yeah, I was wondering how they’d even make Elk Jelly… Too many Red Vines. Yuk! Dying for a smokey treat… you can’t smoke in Magda, per the rental agreement… there’s stickers over the whole care warning a $250.00 cleaning fee may be levied if they find evidence of cigarette smoke… wonder what the cleaning fee is for an overindulgence of Cracker Jack? Sorta have to pee… we’ll be stopping at Camp 18 for a late lunch… I need a green salad chaser for all that red licorice.
Camp 18 is this old logging camp that they’ve turned into a very cool restaurant… yummy green salad… my innards are thanking me for the authentic fuel… the year we got married, Steve hid a quarter in the men’s room and every time we come here he checks… yep! 10 years later and it’s still there… I went to their gift shop, which BTW is darling, and bought Steve a t-shirt and 2 caramels… is there a difference between “carmel” and “caramel”? This is a question that has plagued me for some time now (in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not that deep of a thinker) … the woman who works there complimented me on my earrings, some silly little white beaded numbers… seems she makes jewelry to supplement her income, as she raised 10 kids (yikes!) and didn’t build up a huge Social Security fund nor is there a big 401K program for being a mom… her name is Susan, originally from Southern Cali and has lived in Oregon for 30 years and loves it… I gave her one of the earrings so she could have a “live specimen” to work from instead of the picture I originally suggested she take with her phone… I told her my wish was that she becomes to jewelry what Debbie Fields is to cookies… I also (secretly) wish that I will be telling some traveler that I was from California but have lived in Oregon for 30 years… but wait a minute, even if we move next year, I’d be freaking 80 years old. Shit! I don’t want to be an octogenarian hawking souvenirs… Next stop: Cannon Beach!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Steve and Bon and Sarah's Most Excellent Adventure
OUR VACATION TO OREGON
PART I
Saturday, 8/21/10
7:38 am: Steve sets the GPS, so for the next two days, we'll be accompanied by Jill, the voice on the GPS... don't ask me how I know her name... that's what Steve calls her: Jill, she sounds more like a Melinda to me but I digress... Jill's estimated arrival time to Grant's Pass, OR is 1:51 pm... we'll see... our rental car is cool, a 2010 Nissan Murano which is a small SUV which is good as I've brought 25% of our wardrobes (mine, Steve and Sarah's), enough food to survive till spring, our own 12 cup coffee maker, a beach blanket, and a very large paperback book I'm sure I'll never read...
7:40 am: 'forgot the FASTRACK for the Benicia Bridge, went back home to get it... yup, 2 minutes into our trip and we've already blown the ETA...
7:43 am: OK, now we're REALLY on our way...
7:49 am: forgot California and Oregon State maps in our cars... opted to stop at a gas station instead of suffering the embarrassment of returning home yet again... gas station had California map only... well, they actually had Nevada, too but since our ultimate destination is Oregon, just bought the CA one... will pick up an Oregon and Washington map closer to the border... Mama loves her maps!
9:00 am: We're on I5! 302 more miles to Grants Pass, I'm really excited now!
(I guess it's around here I stopped marking actual times...)
Snow on Mt. Shasta! Freakin' snow... in August!!!!!!!!! Oh! I named our rental car "Magda" after a Grayson Hall character on Dark Shadows as she is silver (the car, not Ms. Hall) and silver is kind of like gray and she was so over the top on that show (Ms. Hall, not the car).
Lunch at Taco Bell in some town just north of Redding... this family of about 16 (okay there was only 6) walked in like one second ahead of us and apparently had never been to a Taco Bell before as it took them forever to read the menu, discuss lunch options and finally frickin order. LONG wait for lunch... but then we were entertained by a small child throwing a fit and grandma angrily marching her back to the car. No taco for YOU!
Stopped for gas in Montague, CA... forgot to purchase Oregon map... 87 miles to go! So excited, so excited!
2:07 pm: WELCOME TO OREGON
3:07 pm: arrived at Riverside Inn... looks nice... is nice... balcony overlooks the river, hence the name, I guess... that's the Rogue River to you rubes... took a walk. Lots and lots of Emo/skater kids... two hit me up for smokes... 'seems Oregon takes the whole "Must be 18 to purchase tobacco" thing pretty seriously... Black Forest Family Resturant for dinner... veggie sandwich and black forest cake (what else would one order at a dining establishment with the name Black Forest Family Resturant?) for dessert... the absolute yummiest cake ever! Had the sweetest waitress named Megs... she was quite touched by Steve's generous tip as she told us she is new to waitressing... I commented I never would have known, being a former food server myself, we can spot these things... back to the hotel to rest up for PART II of our trip tomorrow... hope the Emo kids are all home in bed...
PART I
Saturday, 8/21/10
7:38 am: Steve sets the GPS, so for the next two days, we'll be accompanied by Jill, the voice on the GPS... don't ask me how I know her name... that's what Steve calls her: Jill, she sounds more like a Melinda to me but I digress... Jill's estimated arrival time to Grant's Pass, OR is 1:51 pm... we'll see... our rental car is cool, a 2010 Nissan Murano which is a small SUV which is good as I've brought 25% of our wardrobes (mine, Steve and Sarah's), enough food to survive till spring, our own 12 cup coffee maker, a beach blanket, and a very large paperback book I'm sure I'll never read...
7:40 am: 'forgot the FASTRACK for the Benicia Bridge, went back home to get it... yup, 2 minutes into our trip and we've already blown the ETA...
7:43 am: OK, now we're REALLY on our way...
7:49 am: forgot California and Oregon State maps in our cars... opted to stop at a gas station instead of suffering the embarrassment of returning home yet again... gas station had California map only... well, they actually had Nevada, too but since our ultimate destination is Oregon, just bought the CA one... will pick up an Oregon and Washington map closer to the border... Mama loves her maps!
9:00 am: We're on I5! 302 more miles to Grants Pass, I'm really excited now!
(I guess it's around here I stopped marking actual times...)
Snow on Mt. Shasta! Freakin' snow... in August!!!!!!!!! Oh! I named our rental car "Magda" after a Grayson Hall character on Dark Shadows as she is silver (the car, not Ms. Hall) and silver is kind of like gray and she was so over the top on that show (Ms. Hall, not the car).
Lunch at Taco Bell in some town just north of Redding... this family of about 16 (okay there was only 6) walked in like one second ahead of us and apparently had never been to a Taco Bell before as it took them forever to read the menu, discuss lunch options and finally frickin order. LONG wait for lunch... but then we were entertained by a small child throwing a fit and grandma angrily marching her back to the car. No taco for YOU!
Stopped for gas in Montague, CA... forgot to purchase Oregon map... 87 miles to go! So excited, so excited!
2:07 pm: WELCOME TO OREGON
3:07 pm: arrived at Riverside Inn... looks nice... is nice... balcony overlooks the river, hence the name, I guess... that's the Rogue River to you rubes... took a walk. Lots and lots of Emo/skater kids... two hit me up for smokes... 'seems Oregon takes the whole "Must be 18 to purchase tobacco" thing pretty seriously... Black Forest Family Resturant for dinner... veggie sandwich and black forest cake (what else would one order at a dining establishment with the name Black Forest Family Resturant?) for dessert... the absolute yummiest cake ever! Had the sweetest waitress named Megs... she was quite touched by Steve's generous tip as she told us she is new to waitressing... I commented I never would have known, being a former food server myself, we can spot these things... back to the hotel to rest up for PART II of our trip tomorrow... hope the Emo kids are all home in bed...
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